A Bobby & Charli Prequel That First Night
by judyg
Summary: This story takes visits Bobby Goren and Charli Donovan before Haven for a Heart. It takes place directly after the LOCI episode "Untethered" and is a 'missing scene' from Haven for a Heart.


_**Thank you to ciaddict for betaing and listening, and putting up with my doubts and insecurities. I appreciate the ear and the shoulder.**_

_**For those who have read my stories, this is a prequel into the first night that Bobby and Charli became lovers. It was referenced in Haven for a Heart, but I had cut the 'flashback scene' due to my uncertainty over posting my first fanfic - and now as I go back and explore Bobby and Charli's past a bit, I wanted to touch on that night... This is not what I had originally written, that scene has long since been deleted from my computer, but I hope I did them justice with this retelling.**_

_**This story takes place after the LOCI episode "Untethered" when we saw Bobby standing alone and bereft in Times Square.**_

_**Thank you to those of you who read and those of you who leave comments, because I find the encouragement to continue writing in the reactions I receive.** _

**That First Night…**

Charli heard the buzzer in her living room, alerting her to someone attempting to gain entrance to the apartment building. At this late hour, she had long ago learned to ignore it, since she rarely received visitors and never any at this time of night, or rather this early in the morning, she corrected, but she knew who this was. She had been waiting nervously for his arrival ever since his semi-incoherent phone call.

"Yes?"

"Chuck? It's me…"

"Come up, Bobby," she pressed the button to allow him access to the building and waited impatiently for him to make his way to her second floor apartment. She had the door open and waited for him to top the stairs, standing in the doorway in her bright blue pajamas adorned with Snoopy and Woodstock.

Charli waited anxiously, not having seen him since he'd been released from the hospital. She had been by his side constantly throughout his stay after he'd been taken from Tate's Correctional Facility. She was aware of the abuse that he had suffered at the hands of the guards, at the order of the warden. She had sat at his bedside, listening to his nightmarish ramblings and held his hand in an effort to comfort him. When she had slipped her hand from his much larger one, he would object, and move about restlessly until he felt her touch.

Charli wrapped her arms around herself now, warming to the memory that it had only been her touch that had calmed him. Not the nurses or even Alex Eames, his long time partner. It had been Charli he had sought, even in his delirium. As Bobby came into view, she took a step forward, but then forced herself to wait for him to come to her. It was obvious he was a man at war with himself. Charli saw the torment and pain in his brown eyes, in the fatigue that labored every movement of his large body and her heart broke for him.

"Bobby…" she whispered as he came to a standstill in front of her. He cupped the side of her throat with a gentle hand and bent so that his forehead rested against hers, as if the contact somehow gave him strength.

"I'm sorry," he told her, his voice was so soft that she strained to hear him. "You're the only person – the only one I wanted to see."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," she assured him. "Come inside."

He released her to do as she instructed and Charli followed behind him, closing and locking the door behind her. He walked to the sofa and pulled off his jacket before he sat down with a heavy sigh. She sat on the coffee table, facing him as she laid her hands on his knees.

"What is it, Bobby? Talk to me," she urged him softly. He sat forward and covered her hands, clasping both of hers between his.

"I just – Frank and I," he stammered, falling silent for a moment. He took a deep, steadying breath before he began again. He told Charli of his argument with Frank, his fears for his nephew Donny and the fact that Frank had started abusing drugs once more. His frustration and feelings of helplessness brought tears to his eyes as he drew their joined hands to his mouth briefly. "I've let them both down – Frank is – he's beyond help, but Donny's out there somewhere with no one…"

As he spoke, his fingers stroked and traced hers, as if the movement soothed his agitation. Charli listened to him silently, allowing him to exorcise his demons. She had known Bobby long enough to know that the man insisted on carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Although Frank was the older of the two brothers, and ultimately responsible for his own actions, Bobby felt that he had somehow failed his brother by allowing the alcohol and drug abuse to continue.

"He actually – Frank actually had the gall to tell me to take Eames to a motel and get it out of my system," Bobby told Charli, releasing her hands to run his fingers through his disheveled hair.

"Oh, Bobby, he wanted to divert your anger. You know that when the focus is on Frank, he'll do whatever he can to steer the attention to someone else. He did it to you before – remember when you saw him at that soup kitchen and he asked if Alex was your wife? And then told your mother that you had a girlfriend?" Charli reminded him.

"I know, but it really pissed me off that he would disrespect Eames of all people. She – she was the one that he went to for help. He asked her to tell me about Donny and he thinks that the entire reason I'm angry is because I need to get laid. And Eames? She's my partner – he knows I don't - that she and I don't have those sort of feelings for each other…"

"And Frank knows how to push your buttons, Bobby. He knew that you'd get angry and by saying that about Alex it would take the focus off him," she pointed out.

Bobby studied her for a moment, nodding mutely. Charli was right and he knew it. Ever since they were children, Frank had always known how to get the desired reaction out of his younger brother. There were more instances than Bobby cared to recall that he had been punished for Frank's misdeeds when he would shift focus, and blame, onto Bobby.

"Why don't you let me get you something to drink? I know there's beer, and I have iced tea. I could make you some coffee," she offered. Even though she didn't drink beer or coffee, she kept them for those times that she had company.

"No, thank you," he shook his head. "I should probably go – it's late and you need to get back to sleep."

"You're not going anywhere," Charli stated, her soft voice leaving no room for argument. "And there's nothing or anyone more important than you, so I'm here as long as you want to talk…"

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They talked for over two hours, Bobby going into more detail about the events at Tate's Correctional and his suspension. He revealed his frustration and feelings of betrayal.

"I – I know I acted without permission, but I had to try to help Donny," he told her. "And no matter what, I'm a good cop. I don't always stay inside the lines, but I'm honest and my solve rate speaks for itself. The Chief just handed down this suspension without any consideration for my record. I think – Captain Ross wanted to stick up for me, but it wouldn't have helped to have his head on the chopping block along with mine…"

"Six months seems extreme, Bobby. I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter. I'll get by, I'll find something to do," he shrugged.

"I know," she offered him a smile. "I have a friend at SUNY, I could talk to her and see if they'd be interested in having a guest instructor. You'd be great at teaching…"

"I – maybe, I don't know," he traced the outline of the little yellow bird that adorned the knee of her pajamas. "I'm not sure I wouldn't bore the poor unsuspecting kids to death," he managed a weak smile.

"No, that's where the difference would come in," Charli tried to focus on the conversation and not the finger on her knee. "If you're a guest instructor, the students would be there voluntarily – not like the kids that are forced to sit and listen to me all day."

"Your students are 8 years old and they love you," Bobby told her, but his gaze strayed to follow the movement of his finger.

"They just don't know any better," she teased. "I – I'm going to get something to drink." She rose from the coffee table and walked to the kitchen, not because she was thirsty but because she needed to get away from Bobby's touch. She pulled open the refrigerator door to study the contents – iced tea, beer, milk, water and a lone can of soda stared back at her. She was just about to reach for a bottle of water when she felt him there.

She hadn't heard him move off the sofa, or his footsteps as he followed her into the kitchen. For a large man, he moved with surprising grace and came to stand close behind her before she realized it. She felt his breath on her cheek, and inhaled the scent of him as he leaned in close. She turned her head, ever so slightly and Bobby's mouth found hers in a tentative kiss. He hesitated, waiting for her to rebuff him, but to his surprise, she turned towards him and slipped her arms around his neck as she came up on her tiptoes.

Bobby slid his arms around her waist as he deepened the kiss, drawing her close as his tongue stroked her lips apart to explore the warmth within. He felt her response, felt her tongue as it touched his, shyly at first, but growing bolder when he moaned his approval, softly. Charli sucked his tongue as her fingers tangled in his hair. Bobby tightened his hold, lifting her off her feet as he turned to settle her on the counter to compensate for their height difference.

Without breaking the kiss, Bobby released his hold on her to part her thighs and move between them. Fully clothed, Charli shivered at the intimacy of their position and longed for something more, although she wasn't certain just what. Bobby's hands moved over her back before he clasped her hips lightly and drew her forward on the counter, bringing their bodies in contact. His thumbs began to travel along her sides, dipping beneath the material of her top to skim along the soft skin beneath.

Pulling his mouth from hers, Bobby trailed kisses along her cheek and down her throat, his tongue gliding lightly along the path his lips had taken. Charli tipped her head to the side to allow him greater access as her fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, wanting to feel his heated flesh.

"Bobby…" Charli whispered, her voice husky as she pushed the material off his shoulders. He released her long enough to discard his shirt and Charli tugged at the black T-shirt he wore.

"Chuck," he inhaled a shaky breath, studying her through a haze of desire and the need to get lost from the outside world.

"Please, Bobby," she met his gaze, the certainty of her words blocking all coherent thought from his mind as he yanked the t-shirt off over his head and tossed it on the floor. Grasping the hem of her shirt, Bobby pulled it off and his eyes moved over her breasts as they were exposed to the cool air.

He caressed them with gentle hands, his thumbs arousing her nipples to the point of being almost painful from the sensations coursing through her. When he lowered his head to take a nipple into his mouth, Charli gasped at the heat that flooded through her body and pooled between her thighs. His tongue stroked over the sensitive bud before he turned his attention to the other breast.

Charli's hands did a slow exploration of his shoulders and arms, waiting until he straightened before she slid her fingers through the hair of his chest. She felt Bobby's eyes on her as he watched her expression, trying to read her thoughts, as her eyes followed the movements of her hands on his skin.

"You – deserve better," he managed, certain she would come to her senses and push him away.

"You deserve better from everyone around you," Charli told him, bringing her hands up to cup his face. "I want you, Bobby. If – if you want me, that is…"

"God help me, I want you," he said. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her even closer to him, and she felt his desire through their clothes.

"Please," she whispered, drawing his mouth down to hers.

Bobby grasped her buttocks in his hands and lifted her effortlessly off the counter. Charli wound her arms around his neck to steady herself as he walked them to her bedroom and closed the door behind them. He set her on her feet and rained gentle kisses over her face, hooking his fingers in the waistband of her pajama bottoms and underwear as he pushed them down her legs. Charli stepped out of them and stood before Bobby naked. His gaze moved over her and she began to protest, reaching for the robe on her bed, but Bobby stilled her movements when he told her:

"You're perfect…"

"No, I'm not," she began, but Bobby's mouth claimed hers and his hands began a slow and thorough exploration of her body. Charli heard a soft whimper as fingers parted her thighs and she realized the sound came from her. Bobby parted the soft curls to stroke against the small nub and the whimper became a moan. She smoothed her hands over his chest, teasing his nipples before moving lower to undo the fastenings of his jeans. Bobby slipped off his shoes and shed his remaining clothes even as he backed her towards the bed.

"The – the light," Charli managed, but before she could turn off the lamp on the bedside table, Bobby drew her hand back to his chest.

"Leave it on. I want – to see you," he told her, his gaze moving over her in the muted light. "All of you…"

He urged her down onto the bed and knelt before her. He kissed her, gently, his lips teasing hers as his hands caressed her, learning her most intimate secrets. He pressed her back onto the bed as his lips moved over her body, her breasts and stomach before moving to her right thigh and downward to her knee before switching to her left knee and working his way up her thigh. He kissed his way along her lower stomach, his tongue touching the sensitive skin before he parted her thighs.

Charli felt his teeth nip gently at the supple flesh of her inner thigh before his tongue traced the area. She bit her lip to stop from crying out when Bobby's fingers found her feminine center and began to circle the nub as his head moved closer. When his tongue replaced his fingers, Charli's body tensed and arched upwards. Bobby splayed a hand on her stomach, caressing the smooth flesh as he continued to arouse her.

"Bobby," she whimpered, tangling her fingers in his hair in an effort to draw his head upward. "Bobby, please…" Even as she spoke, she felt an unfamiliar sensation begin to radiate from where his tongue continued to lave against her and outward to the rest of her body. The hand on her stomach slid down to replace his tongue, his thumb massaged over her arousal as his tongue slipped inside her.

That was all it took to shatter what little control she had and Charli's fingers dug into the comforter as Bobby continued to pleasure her. Just when she thought she could take no more, she felt Bobby's lips begin a slow path up her stomach to her breasts before claiming her mouth. He urged her fully onto the bed as his body covered hers. Balancing his weight on his right arm, Bobby used his left hand continue to explore and stimulate her.

Charli thrilled at the feel of his skin beneath her hands as they moved over his arms and back before her fingers found his nipples, teasing them erect. She felt the evidence of Bobby's arousal pressing against her and knew that she wanted only to please this man. He was a gentle, giving, compassionate man who felt as if his life had been a mistake. Charli knew at this very moment, he felt that no one would have missed him had he never been born, but she wanted to prove to him how very wrong he was. This man was the one single person who had given Charli the will to live when her father had beaten her almost to death. This man was the same man who had worked for, and won, her friendship and trust. This man was the only man she had ever been in love with and whether Bobby realized it or not, she would cherish every moment they spent together.

Slowly, she trailed her fingers over his chest and down his stomach before closing them around the thickness of his erection. She heard Bobby's soft moan of approval even as she felt a sense of unease, certain there was no way he'd fit inside her, but she wouldn't deny him this. She wanted to be with him, to share this intimacy. As her hand moved over the length of him, exploring him and arousing him even further Bobby whispered:

"I want you, Chuck…"

And that was all she needed to release the fear that had begun to form. Bobby fitted himself between her thighs, his fingers parting her and preparing her for his entry. Charli smoothed her hands over his back and she rained kisses along his throat and shoulder as he eased the tip of his manhood inside her. He moved slowly, giving her body time to adjust to the size of him and Charli's fingers dug into his skin.

Bobby's lips found hers and his tongue made love to her mouth as he pressed more fully inside of her. Acting purely on instinct now, she moved beneath him, wanting something that she couldn't put into words, but knowing that only Bobby would be able to ease the need that she felt.

"Charli," Bobby was lost as she arched her hips upwards, bringing him more deeply inside her.

"I want you, Bobby," she told him, softly. "Please."

Their gazes met and held as Bobby entered her with one hard thrust. Charli bit her lip against the sharp stab of pain as he tore through her virginity and her body stretched to accept him. Bobby became immediately still before he began to withdraw from her. Shaking her head, she wrapped her legs around him, whispering:

"No, please. Please don't leave me."

"I – I hurt you." It was obvious that he hadn't considered the thought that he might be her first lover. The woman had been engaged up until a few months earlier and Bobby knew that she had dated sporadically. "I didn't think – I'm sorry…"

Charli placed a gentle finger to his lips, silencing him as she replied:

"No regrets, Bobby – and no promises. I want this – I want you…"

Bobby studied her face in the dim light before he began to move slowly, allowing her time to grow accustom to the feel of him inside her. The pain and discomfort eased and Charli began to move beneath him, her body matching his rhythm. She had listened to her girlfriends talk about their sex lives, comparing various lovers, but had never believed that the joining of two bodies could bring such immeasurable pleasure.

Bobby was gentle but demanding as he whispered to her, telling her where to touch him and how beautiful he found her. He varied his movements, slowing to the point that she pleaded for more before he increased the tempo and brought her closer to the edge yet again and she buried her face against his throat, her fingers digging into his arms as her she writhed beneath him.

"Let it happen, Chuck," he whispered against her ear, his tongue tracing the delicate shell before he nipped the lobe. "Don't fight it…" The feel of his hands on her body, his arousal inside her made it impossible to resist his urging and Charli's entire body seemed to shatter into a myriad of color and light as her climax overcame her.

Bobby became still until her tremors eased before thrusting deeply inside her, his release filling her as his mouth claimed hers and he kissed her gently. He rained light kisses over her face as he regained control of his breathing.

"You're so beautiful," he told her, his mouth finding hers again before he moved off of her, pulling her into his arms. "I – I'm sorry. If I'd known that you'd never – I wouldn't have…"

"Please, don't, Bobby," Charli came up on her elbow then to study him. "Don't be sorry."

His eyes moved over her face and he smiled that soft, warm smile that she knew so well. Charli was such a conundrum to Bobby. In spite of his ability to read most people with ease, he had never been privileged to Charli's inner thoughts except for those she chose to share with him. At that moment in her green eyes, he saw the open acceptance he had always received from her. Even now, when he felt that he had lost everything in his life, Charli was the one constant he knew would always be there for him.

Placing a gentle hand behind at the back of her head, Bobby drew her down so that she rested against his chest. He kissed the top of her head and held her as she drifted off to sleep, aware that she had allowed him to use her body to bring him some solace from the agony that was his life.

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Charli woke slowly, confused as to the warm body alongside her, until the memory of the evening's events flooded back. Smiling, she snuggled against Bobby, smoothing her hand over his chest and kissing his cheek. She felt his arm tighten around her as he turned his head to capture her mouth. She responded eagerly to him, parting her lips to welcome his tongue even as he shifted positions so that she was on her back and his hands began their experienced exploration of her body.

Emboldened by Bobby's encouragement, Charli's fingers began their own journey, moving over his chest and back, skimming lightly along his sides. When she felt him shiver beneath her touch, Charli grew bolder, her hands traveling along his skin lightly, her own excitement heightened by the feel of his skin against hers.

"Touch me," he whispered against her lips and she did, knowing that she might not have the opportunity again. She urged him onto his back before she began to kiss her way along his face and throat, following a path down his chest. Her tongue teased his nipples, imitating Bobby's movements and she thrilled at the moans of approval, the sound of his voice as he whispered her name, softly.

Charli continued to touch and kiss her way over his body, growing more confident as she stroked and caressed him. She felt Bobby's long fingers tangle in her hair as he drew her back up to kiss her, his mouth claiming hers roughly as he urged her onto her back and moved over her. This time, there was no fear or hesitancy but instead, Charli opened herself to him anxiously, knowing that the man was as passionate as he was gentle and would give as much pleasure as he took. This was Bobby Goren – the one man that she trusted, the man that she loved and she could deny him nothing.

As he entered her, Charli gasped and Bobby stilled, his gaze moving over her face.

"I – I'm hurting you," he worried.

"No," she was quick to assure him. "it only hurt that first time and only for a minute. It's just…" she broke off, blushing hotly and Bobby waited for her to continue, kissing the tip of her nose. "You feel so wonderful inside me." Even as she spoke the words, she buried her face in his chest and heard Bobby's chuckle of amusement at the situation they found themselves in, and Charli's inherent shyness.

He began to move slowly and she moved with him, matching each thrust of his body, returning his kiss with a hunger that would have shocked her just hours earlier.

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Bobby awoke with a start, uncertain where he was for several moments as he lay still and glanced around the sunlit room. As the memories of the evening and early morning returned, he covered his mouth with his free hand. Charli – he turned his head on the pillow to study her as she slept, aware of her body pressed closely against his. She had been so trusting, allowing him to use her body for comfort and escape. He had made love to her four times, unable to satisfy his desire for her and she had come to him willingly each time, but Bobby knew it was out of sympathy, not because she was in love with him. Charli felt sorry for him and had only wanted to ease his misery.

How could he possibly face her again? Knowing that he was in love with her and certain that she felt nothing more for him than pity. Her brother's 'screw up' of a friend who couldn't hold his own family together, let alone his own life?

Moving as quietly as possible so he didn't wake her, Bobby slid from the bed and retrieved his clothes from the bedroom floor. He pulled on his boxers and jeans before he picked up his socks and shoes. He stood at the foot of the bed and watched her sleep for a few minutes. If he woke her, he knew he'd simply climb back into bed and make love to her again so it was best for him to let her sleep. She didn't need him causing her more pain and he knew that she wouldn't refuse him if he were to wake her.

He found his shirt and t-shirt in the kitchen and pulled them on before sitting on the sofa to pull on his socks and shoes. With his elbows on his knees, Bobby buried his face in his hands, cursing himself silently for his weakness. He had sworn years earlier that he would never take advantage of Charli's friendship and trust but his despair had undermined his resolve and he turned to her.

He rose from the sofa and closed the door softly behind him, carrying with him the guilt and burden of the damage he had inflicted by his actions, not only to Charli's body, but to their friendship as well.

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Charli had left several messages for Bobby over the ensuing weeks, asking him to call her, for no other reason than wanting to know he was safe. Certain that her inexperience left him unsatisfied and disappointed, she knew that there would be no burgeoning relationship between them, her love for him would remain her secret, but their friendship was important to her. No matter what might have occurred, she didn't want to lose his friendship.

"Hello?" she answered the telephone on the third ring.

"Hi, Charli," Bobby's deep, smooth voice caused her knees to weaken and she rested a hand on the kitchen counter.

"Bobby, I've been worried, when you didn't return my calls…"

"I didn't think it was a good idea," he replied softly. "I – What happened was a mistake and I'm sorry that I hurt you. I just – I just wanted you to know that I'm fine and I won't bother you again."

"Oh, Bobby," Charli sighed. "Please don't feel like that – please don't let go of our friendship…"

"It's better this way, Chuck."

Before she could respond, the line went dead and Bobby was gone. She set the receiver back in the charger and gave into the tears that had been lurking just below the surface since she had woken and found Bobby gone. Her failings as a woman, of her ability to satisfy the man she loved swamped her and she allowed herself a good cry.

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"This isn't possible," Charli stated emphatically. "It's simply not possible."

Margaret O'Reilly studied her niece with an amused smile turning up the corners of her mouth.

"Well, did you or did you not have an intimate relationship with a man you failed to mention to me?"

"I – I did," Charli admitted. She had told no one of the night of passion she and Bobby had shared.

"Well, then apparently it is possible – you need to get to your gynecologist and find out for sure."

"But, Aunt Maggie, I'm not supposed to be able to get pregnant. All the specialists – every one of them said I'd never have children," Charli insisted.

"How many of these home pregnancy tests have you taken?"

"I don't know for sure – five?"

"Well, you had half a dozen specialists tell you 'no' and five tests tell you 'yes'. Maybe you need to go to your doctor and find out for sure…"

"I'm scared," Charli replied, ever so softly.

"Women have babies every day," Maggie pointed out.

"I know that," Charli stated.

"Then what are you scared of?" her aunt challenged.

"That I'll find out I'm not pregnant," she told the older woman.

"You love this man?"

"More than anything in the world," Charli smiled sadly.

"Then where is he?" Maggie wanted to know. "He has a right to know – a responsibility to you and this baby."

"He doesn't love me back, Aunt Maggie, and I won't hold a man with a child."

"Well, the man's a fool."

"No, he's not," Charli defended. "He's a good man – and if I truly am pregnant, I'm lucky to be having his baby."

"He still has a right to know," Maggie studied her niece's expression.

"No, he doesn't. He – he said that what happened was a mistake. I grew up in a household knowing I was a mistake. I won't do that to him or this baby, if there is one." Even as she spoke, Charli pressed an unconscious hand to her stomach.

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Charli left the office of Dr. Elizabeth Hawthorne, the doctor's words replayed over in her thoughts, assuring Charli that she was indeed pregnant. A baby, she whispered to herself as she approached her car. Bobby's baby, she corrected as she slid behind the wheel.

She longed to tell him, to share her happiness with him, but she also knew that he was a man who lived his life being responsible for those around him. He had enough to deal with right now with his suspension and his attempts to locate his nephew. She refused to be an added burden to him. She loved him, deeply and the knowledge that the night they shared would live in the child she carried would be enough.

**The End**


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